Could our ability to forgive improve our health?  We all have had experiences where someone has greatly offended us or mistreated us in some way.  Sometimes our greatest offender is ourselves.  Many of us have made mistakes or done things we aren't necessarily proud of doing.  Sometimes we are our own worst enemy when it comes to our willingness to forgive.  How we respond to these events may determine both our health and our happiness.  

How easily do you forgive yourself and others? 
Do you constantly relive the experiences over and over again with anger or resentment? 
Or are you one of the lucky few who are able to let go and forget the incident all together? 

I remember many years ago my grandmother and I having a discussion on whether or not we forgave or forgot.  At the time I was pretty certain that I forgot certain trespasses.   However, when considering it now, I think in order to forget about a specific incident you have to be willing to not think of it at all.  If you aren't thinking of it, you must not be bothered by it enough to be dwelling on the incident with anger and irritation.  We all have events that makes us fume when we begin to remember the hurt or in some cases our own stupidity.  I now view my forgetfulness as a very refined coping mechanism:)

When the rumination of the hurtful events is frequent it can impact overall health. This sort of chronic re-experiencing of the event coupled with an environment filled with constant reminders of the offenses makes it extremely difficult to forgive or forget.  When we force ourselves to  replay the event again and again in our heads we are not just experiencing it psychologically but scientist say we also show physical signs of stress while remembering the event.  The experts (Worthington, Sandage, and Berry 2000) define unforgiveness "as a combination of delayed negative emotions (resentment, bitterness, hostility, hatred, anger and fear) toward a transgressor."  The repeated exposure to ruminations of offenses causes one to be stuck in negative emotions and live under the conditions of a hyperaroused stress response.  Since stress plays a huge part in migraines, I believe forgiveness might be helpful to migrainuers and quite frankly everyone. 

Research in the field of forgiveness as it relates to health is fairly new.  Harvard researchers report that mentally nursing a grudge exhibits the physical consequences of muscles tensing, an increase in  blood pressure, and an increase in sweating.  Other studies show that through forgiveness there are improvements in blood pressure and heart rate as well as a decreased workload for the heart.  A small study on people with chronic back pain found that those who focused on converting anger to compassion experienced more of a decrease in pain and anxiety than the control group. 

Stanford University is home to the largest intervention study of interpersonal forgiveness-- "The Stanford Forgiveness Project".  Researchers involved in this study believe forgiveness to be similar to the ability to see one's life through a positive lens. We could all benefit from the health benefits correlated to a decreased stress response (especially the migrainuer).  Part of the project's design includes training in managing life's unfortunate offenses and using forgiveness to make peace with ourselves and our pasts.  Their methodology includes these 9 steps to forgiveness, in case you want to train yourself:
 

I think these people at Stanford might be pretty smart.   Forgiveness may be a path to greater peace and understanding
that can benefit us both physically and psychologically.

Ah, the view from my beach chair last week.  Oh how I miss that little thatched roof gazebo on the water.  I disappeared last week to this beautiful place and left all my worries behind. I spent seven days without a computer, phone service or children.  You would have thought it would have been more of a shock to my system than it was.  I adapted quite nicely to absolutely no responsibilities.  When your biggest stress is what to eat for breakfast, you know you have it good.

Stress reduction is key to overall health status.  At least most normal medical personnel will give you such advice.  The first neurologist I saw as a result of my migraines basically poo-pooed my stress stating that "women in war-torn countries may suffer from stress...not women in suburban Tulsa". 

When under acute stress our bodies release cortisol and adrenaline, hormones that help when stress is acute so that we can either fight or flee the stressful encounter.  However, when our bodies experience chronic stress everyday during our normal routines i.e. bad employers, chronic pain, child-rearing, driving in traffic, and the list goes on.  This chronic exposure to hormones over time damages blood vessels due to inflammation.  There are numerous studies available chronicling the benefits of vacation on heart disease.  I would argue the benefits of decreasing the inflammation of blood vessels goes beyond just heart disease and extends to a variety of disease states--migraine being one of them.  A study by Gretchen Tietjen out of the University of Toledo found that a third of study participants with migraines had blood vessel damage, which was five times higher than the control group.  The verdict is still out on the exact cause of migraines, but most helpful medications for migraines reduce vessel inflammation.

Remembering that traveling itself can be and issue for the migrainuer, proper planning is a must.  Adequate sleep and hydration are vital the days prior to a tropical destination.  Unless of course your lucky enough to be in driving distance from such a location.  That first travel day is always kind of a struggle for me...probably due to sleep alterations (if it's an early flight), barometric pressure changes, and yes-- stress (and not the stress endured by women of war-torn countries, but  stress endured by women with migraines who have their passport and flight ticket taken from them by a Spanish-only speaking security worker and told they were randomly selected for an extra security screening).

But once I am beach side listening to the sounds of the ocean the stress seems to disappear.  For seven days my worries become which bathing suit to wear to the beach, which book I should read, whether to swim in the ocean or the pool, or whether or not "Frank the Iguana" will be there to greet me when I head home from the beach.  Everyone should be lucky enough to endure the above listed stresses for at least one week a year.

"Frank The Iguana"

Who doesn't like a good laugh?

The process of consistently dealing with pain can cause one to lose your sense of humor and put you in a pretty dark place.  At some point I took a personal inventory of how much fun and laughter was in my life.  I looked at what I was reading.  I looked at what I was watching on television.  I looked at who I was spending my time with and what I spent my time doing.  I realized that I wasn't capitalizing on fun and laughter like I should.  The books I read were about migraines.  I was watching horrific news stories and crime dramas on television.  My conversations with friends would inevitably turn into discussions about my health simply because they were kind enough to ask about it.  A lot of my down time was spent dwelling on how to cure my migraines, figuring out how to work and cope with migraines, how to manage children while in the midst of a migraine, etc.  I had quit playing tennis and doing activities I loved because of migraines. 

I think in life you become what your surround yourself with and what you do.  Fortunately, we get to choose these things.  I made a deliberate choice to have more fun and change what I was reading, watching on TV, doing and talking about.  I tried to bring laughter back into my life.  

My crazy little laughter plan has some scientific research to back it:

A study conducted at the University of Oxford proved that laughter can increase pain thresholds.  The benefits are not just emotional.   They believe the physical act of laughing exhausts the abdominal muscles causing a release of endorphins which lessens painful experiences.  So, I guess for more benefit, laugh louder and longer?

According to The Mayo Clinic the benefits of laughter are both short term and long term:
1. Stimulation of heart, lungs and muscles by oxygen-rich air while laughing increases endorphins in the brain.
2.  Feelings of relaxation caused by the activation and release of the stress response.
3.  Stress symptom relief caused by an increase circulation and muscle relaxation.
4.  Boosting the immune system with neuropeptides released to  fight stress and illness.
5.  Natural painkillers released to break the pain-spasm cycle in common muscle disorders.
6.  Increasing coping skills and building connections with other people.

Generally laughing and doing fun things makes me feel better.  I don't really need scientist and the Mayo Clinic to convince me to do more fun things.  However, I think our thoughts and behaviors are a reflection of how we feel. When we don't feel good we can create a habit of negative thoughts and feelings.  So, in the spirit of April Fools Day, I recommend we all have a little more fun and laughter.  Happy April Fools Day!

It's a commonly held belief that stress causes migraines.  However, I did have one neurologist (who will remain nameless) tell me that I was ridiculous to think that stress was causing my migraines.  He then went on to inform me that women in war-torn countries endure stress, not women in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Needless to say this neurologist offered no suggestions  to help manage my stress.   Throughout my migraine journey I have encountered several suggestions to reduce stress in my life.  One Dr. (who believed in the physiological effects of stress) actually performed a test on me (ANSAR) that documented that my sympathetic autonomic nervous system was in overdrive.  The sympathetic nervous system mediates our fight or flight response, the response to stress, pain, or cold.  While the parasympathetic branch is responsible for energy conservation and restoration.  Ideally, these systems should be balanced. When I asked this Dr. what I was supposed to do in order to balance myself, he recommended meditation or prayer as a possible solution.  I had come across meditiation as a suggestion for migraine relief previously, yet my little knowledge about how to meditate left me paralyzed at the thought of attempting it.  The idea of quieting my mind with a goal of thinking of absolutely nothing for a set amount of time became stressful, thus negating it's purpose.  Many physicians and stress relief experts find similarities between prayer and meditation-- and prayer I can do. 

I debated posting anything regarding prayer as it seems very personal and possibly controversial.  Although, I did reveal church outings in my Migraine Plan, I didn't speak specifically to prayer.  Whatever your religious beliefs (unless you have none at all) you can pray or meditate and  remain unoffended by the fact that I pray.  Studies have shown that prayer and meditation can have an impact on stress and pain.  A study by Dr. Herbert Benson at Harvard Medical School was one of these studies.  He determined that the body responds to praying, meditating, hypnosis, and other relaxation techniques by lowering heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing rate.  His study showed the body achieves a state of relaxation where there is a decreased need for oxygen and a decreased production of carbon dioxide.  These things are the opposite of what occurs in the body under stress.  Through these techniques we can consciously decrease stress and aid in healing.  For this migrainuer prayer is a cheap and fulfilling way to cope and reduce stress.  All I need is a quiet room and some solitude.

Many times in a chronic state of migraine my prayers were mere pleads for mercy or negotiations with a higher power to reduce my pain in return for my undying committment.   Today my prayers are a time of quiet reflection of thanks and gratitude for the relief I have received.  It is a time and place for me to connect spiritually and share responsibility and religuish control for things in my life that I can't control.  My prayer today, while I type this blog, is that the message contained in this site will relieve the pain and suffering of a fellow migrainuer.

Can I get an Amen?